I would like to begin this apology note by explaining how the event in question began: with a "flawless" plan. I was simply trying to get all three kids tired and ready for their nap by taking them on a nice walk around the neighborhood right before naptime. They had been running around "like hooligans" (as their mother would say) with not a trace of sleepiness in their eyes in the 30 minutes leading up to nap. So. This is where my plan was concocted.
It sounded simple. Put Brother and Sister in their wagon that they adore, and let Buddy lead the way around the neighborhood, looking at all the Halloween decorations.
Let me assure you, dear neighbors, that that IS how the walk innocently began. Or else I would have turned that caravan around and sprinted back here. You neighbors who live closest to the house can attest to that. (Not the 'sprinting back here' part, the 'innocent begin to the walk' part...)
When we got to the other side of the neighborhood, that's when it all went south.
It is at this point in my story that I begin my apologies.
I am sorry to any neighbors that were disrupted by the intermittent sounds of our caravan starting and stopping multiple times in order to make sure the babies kept arms, legs, and water cups in the wagon.
A few houses further down the street, I must apologize to any neighbors who were disrupted by various calls of "Buddy! Not so far ahead! Stop and wait for us to catch up!", "Buddy! Speed up, dude! You're getting left behind!", "No, Buddy, those decorations aren't ours! Don't take them!". And also for the frequent stops to make sure the babies kept arms, legs, and water cups in the wagon.
A few houses further down the street, I must apologize to any of you neighbors who were dismayed or disrupted by Buddy's sudden feet-dragging, and I'm-about-to-die charade. I assure you he was quite fine. He had merely just realized he left his water bottle at the house and was discouraged when I told him I had no way of Superman-flying back home to get it and bring it to him. He did not, in fact, die, and drank instead from his siblings' cups. Don't worry. I also apologize for the afore-mentioned frequent stops to make sure the babies kept arms, legs, and water cups in the wagon, which were still in full swing. And also for the indignant whimpering from the
When we rounded the corner, I apologize to any neighbors who were surprised to see me stop the caravan quickly, once again sit the babies down, and invite the still-irked-about-the-water-bottle Buddy to ride in the wagon. Since he had been forced to share cups with his brother and sister, he had taken to walking even slower, and I figured if I could get him in the wagon, not only could I walk faster, but he could help me to make sure the babies kept arms, legs, torsos, and water cups in the wagon. I must also apologize for the louder indignant whimpering from the
Upon rounding the final corner, my apologies must expand: I am sorry to any neighbors affected in any way as I trudged my way up the hill after that final corner. I suddenly had a good deal more weight in the wagon than before (with the addition of Buddy) and hadn't anticipated the energy required to get all three kiddos up the darn hill. I also apologize for the loud wails a bit later from the wagon of "DENNNAAAAA!!! (sob, wail, sob, hiccup) NENNNAAAA!!!" coming from Sister. As near as I can tell, this is her way of saying my name, and she was trying to complain to me about her older brother sitting her back on her butt everytime she attempted to make a bid for freedom out of the now-rapidly-moving wagon. Never fear, she was not in any way hurt, just frustrated. To these same neighbors I also want to assure you that Brother was absolutely fine. He had just quickly grown tired of watching his siblings' battle of the wills and was resting his head on his hands, looking blissfully tired and ready for nap.
At this point, I hope you can understand my take-no-prisoners stance and facial expression, and my increased acceleration. I had just spotted The Kids house in the not-so-far-off distance.
To any of the next-door neighbors who wondered why the babies and I stood in the driveway for so long after getting home while Buddy was nowhere in sight, there is a great explanation for this as well. Buddy wanted to test his independence and go through the back door on his own and unlock the front door for myself and the babies. Wanting to encourage the helpful attitude and controlled-independence (I had the house key in my pocket, just in case), I allowed him to go ahead, and I would count to see how fast he could do it. You may have noticed how slowly I was counting as he raced into the backyard. You may have also noticed that I stopped counting, reached for the key in my pocket, and began to look slightly perturbed when I got to the mid-forties and he still hadn't opened the door. But, I do hope you noticed that right after this, Buddy opened the door with a grin and announced he had been inside for a while, watching me from the front window and feeling sneaky that he was inside the cool house while everyone else was still outside counting loudly.
So. It was all under control. And I apologize to any neighbors who thought otherwise.
Ya know what? Actually I DON'T apologize. For any of it. Because you were all probably laughing at me the whole time anyway. ;)
Love, Devyn.
PS: For those interested in if the walk did serve its original purpose of making everyone tired, it did. Me included. So there.
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