Last-Minute School Supplies

August 23, 2012

Buddy's Kindergarten Meet the Teacher Night is tonight, and his school has requested that all school supplies be dropped off tonight as well. School starts Monday.

It's not as if these dates were sprung suddenly on us... But for one reason or another, this morning dawned and Buddy was still missing his required 2 regular-sized containers of Wet Ones hand wipes, and 3 folders, which were to be plastic, pocketed, bradded, and one each of yellow, red, and green.

Picky punks.

Mom-of-the-Kids, having already scoured Walmart with Buddy in tow looking for the required folders, asked me to check out Staples to gather the last few items today. So off we went.

Upon entering the store, I was approached by a male employee who asked if he could help us find our items.

"Sure dude." I said without hesitation, handing over the list.

It was all downhill from there.

Wet Ones? Male employee: "Oh! Here they are! Perfect size too!" (author's note: they were Lysol bathroom/kitchen wipes. 15 count. In a miniature travel bag.)

Yellow plastic, pocketed, bradded folder: "We don't have plastic, pocketed folders, unfortunately. But here's one with Batman!" (author's note: ?????)

Red plastic, pocketed, bradded folder: "Here's a purple project folder! I bet that'll work!" (author's note: no, it won't. And I'm feeling concerned for your reading and comprehension ability, sir.)

Green plastic, pocketed, bradded folder: "well, you can look, but I haven't seen any..." (author's note: good call. I believe I SHALL walk away now, if you'll kindly return my list and leave me alone.)

After a few minutes of leading the three kids around in circles, a female employee approached us and asked if she could assist. Not wanting to surrender my list again should this employee prove as "helpful" as the last, I read off our missing items to her, doubtfully.

Within minutes, our travel-size baggie of Lysol bathroom/kitchen wipes were replaced by the correct 2 containers of Wet Ones for hands, and she had directed us to the folder Mecca, an aisle which the previous employee hadn't thought of at all, where she helped us in quickly acquiring our red and green folders (plastic, pocketed, with brads). Our yellow version, it turns out, is a hot commodity this year, and is sold out almost everywhere in this area. So I learned from the harried, twitching mothers who walked by muttering to themselves as they searched desperately, "brads... Yellow... Pockets... Has to be plastic... Brads... dammit... Yellow..."

So. We bought the yellow one in paper and left.

And I double-dog dare the teacher to say its unacceptable.

Morals of the story:
1) The Woman will be of help. The Man is wondering when his next break is.
2) Teachers are picky. And last minute shopping sucks.
3) Yellow, plastic, pocketed folders with brads are brought to you direct from Satan.