You really shouldn't listen to me about stuff like that.
The Kids' lawn guy was doing his mowing, trimming, raking thing outside on Friday and went to trim the two overgrown, flowy bushes by the back fence (the ones I am daily fishing The Kids' balls out of while we're playing) and came face-to-face with a footlong Copperhead.
(Insert heart failure)
We Southerners don't screw around when it comes to our Copperheads, or our Rattlesnakes (who at least give a courtesy jingle before they take a snap at you). So I had a dilemma to work through: my desire to keep The Kids in one piece vs my reluctance to be scared inside on beautiful days with three high-octane ankle-biters.
My solution? Snake School.
I gathered the children in the backyard, and enlisted the help of Buddy's toy snake to give him (the twins were uninterested, and instead frolicked around during Snake School) a basic crash course in what to do if he came across a snake in the yard.
I instructed him that snakes are always cold. So they like to lay in sunny spots sometimes, like the grass or the porch. And then they will take naps in hiding spots that protect them from birds and big animals, like the bushes, or under a pile of sticks or rocks, etc.
Then I laid the toy snake down in the grass and asked Buddy to tell me what he'd do if he came across a real snake outside.
"I'd stomp it in its stomach like this!" He demonstrated.
"Um no. Don't do that. That's a very bad idea. What is a better, safer idea?"
"I'll pick it up and throw it!" He said confidently.
"Also... Um... A very bad idea, dude."
Buddy looked confusedly at me, like there was nothing else to do with a snake besides stomp it or pick it up.
"Snakes bite, Buddy. Its what they do if something big and tough-looking, like you, comes up to it. And snake bites HURT. And then you have to go to the doctor. So if you ever see a snake in the yard, you stop, run backwards away from it with your hands out of the way, and call out to whichever grown up is here, Mom, Dad, or me. And we'll take care of it. But you never ever touch it, ok?"
"Ok." He nodded solemnly.
Then I hid the toy snake around the yard a few times so Buddy could practice proper snake procedure. And here was the result, mid-run:
His arms and hands are safe, I'd say.
And I feel much better having had this little talk with him. Let the warm weather begin!!!
