Everyone's got those personal chores that suck. Things they'd go out of their way to avoid doing. For some, it's mopping. Others hate laundry. I personally have a vendetta against deep dusting, which is to say, if my Walmart-brand feather duster can't get to it easily, then that dust is to be ignored.
For Buddy, it's wiping his rear.
I get it. I do. It's not a job anyone enjoys, but it's a fact of life. And since Buddy starts kindergarten in a few short months, we'd all cracked down on him bucking up and taking care of business on his own, like it or not.
Then slowly, things happen. You're in a hurry, so you do it for him quick just to get out the door on time. Or you take pity on his tears of frustration over his unpracticed ability. Or my personal downfall: he's been in there for almost half an hour, dang it, I gotta go so he's gotta move!!
But today he slipped. He made the rookie move. The classic mistake. He revealed his master plan.
I was in the living room, wrangling the twins and changing their diapers, while Buddy was on minute 19 in the bathroom.
"It's time to get out of there, Buddy! You're done, quit messing around in there!"
"I really can't do this Devyn! I need you to wipe!"
"Can't dude! Changing diapers!"
"I'll wait..."
"C'mon, man, you're five! You can do it, you've done it before! In kindergarten no one will be able to do it for you. You've got this!"
"DEVYN! I haven't had to do this in a million years. Its not my job to wipe my butt anymore. So I'm gonna wait for you, ok?!"
Ha. Nope.
See what you did there, dude? I'm on to you...
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