Thursday, January 31, 2013

Do I Have a Say in This?

Once upon a time, a slightly-frazzled nanny drove the twins home from a disastrous, brief trip to the  neighborhood park. It was disastrous because of its brevity. And its brevity was the result of a certain, unnamed three-year-old boy who, after being told not to slide down a certain slide because of a LAKE at its end, did exactly the opposite. And was soaked. And humbled to his core.

I'm serious. There were approximately 24 seconds between the end of my warning and the sound of the splash.

Anyway. As I drove the humbled boy and his irritated twin sister home, we pointed out all the homes for sale in the neighborhood.

"That one is for you, Miss Devyn! Live there!" They told me.

"That's a nice one." I agreed. "But maybe a little big. I don't need an upstairs and a downstairs for my house."

"Your kids do!" Brother insisted.

"I don't have any kids." I told them. "No husband, no kids. I don't need all those rooms for just me!"

All fell silent for a moment in the backseat.

"Miss Demmyn, you need to get some kids." Sister informed me.

"One day--" I began.

"No," Sister cut me off in a serious tone, "Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will get you some kids. What kind do you want?"

"Umm..."

Brother suddenly sat forward, eyes wide, "I KNOW! I will go with Sis and we will get all the old babies people don't need anymore and give them to you to have!"

"Old babies? Like dolls?" I asked.

He gave me a withering look, like poor, slow adults. Don't slow me down on this. "No, Miss Demmyn. Me and Sis will go to the houses, and there are real babies at the houses that you can have. And we will get them and put all of them in a big box for you."

Considering it my duty to steer the children under my care AWAY from criminal activity, I explained that all babies have moms and dads that they need to stay with, and we don't mess with other people's babies.

There was a lengthy pause.

"Well." Sis finally said, "Hurry up then and have some."

 Sorry I'm taking too long for your liking, small fry. ;)






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